Why Do "Bob's Women" Want me?

[Psycho Dave]

Yes, why do they?
...I don't get it?
...we could do the whole "hunter/alpha male" bit all day... but really, why do Bob's women flock to me?
I find it very interesting... maybe it has something to do with being the "better half"... it's lmuch like a sandwich, too... and Bob may be the bread/support... but I've gots ta be da meat... heh
I just want to play XBox at this point.

[JVH (f/k/a Bob Dubilina)]

You steal one measly (and somewhat freckly) mistress and you automatically take command of the rest of the harem?

I DON'T FUCKIN' THINK SO!

Hands off, Johnny Cumstain! Keep it up and I'll take a finger for every girl of mine that you even think about! GOT THAT? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME! TOUCH MY WOMEN AND I'LL TOSS YOU OUT A FUCKIN' WINDOW!

Much love,
BobbyDobbyD






P.S. They tend to flock to you because there's a certain charm to your snuggliness. You're also less crude, less cruel, less demanding and use proper utensils when eating out. You also dress snappier and can play guitar. (Oh, that fuckin' guitar - it's so not fair!)

[Bored At Work]

(I'm assuming it's okay if anyone posts...)

As a member of Bob's "harem" (good God, what have I fallen into?), I would like to say that I'm only in this because I aspire to one day rule a harem of my own (full of men, of course). You are both welcomed to join, but only if you play nice.

In the meantime, the rest of the harem and I may gather for a strike. We demand higher wages if we don't get our pick of man beef.

[JVH (f/k/a Bob Dubilina)]

You go on strike, NO ONE gets any milkshakes! Or car rides home! (That means you'll have to sleep under the Victory Comforter to stay warm. Oh, the horror!) And no more hugging Truxton either! If you can handle all that, then BRING. IT. ON!

BobbyDobbyD

P.S. When it comes to sharing a harem with any of the BFN boys, I will never play nice. (Is it obvious yet that Deputy Dubilina doesn't believe in sharing?)

[Psycho Dave]

Bob said:

You go on strike

heh heh heh... I am watching all this from my mountain-top hideaway... on my throne of iniquity... !!
bask, all yee Bob's ladies upon the hairy glory that is me! ...hug Truxton?? ...why, I am a living breathing snuggle-bear!! ...I'm like new wave, retro stuffed animal!!
I need not bicker over the simple facts... muahaha! ...they will come... when the milkshakes run dry, and truxton explodes in a mysterious accident.. they will come... and I am always ready.
ok, not always.... but... they will come!!

[Chad Wilkens]

Guest-Bored said:

As a member of Bob's "harem" (good God, what have I fallen into?), I would like to say that I'm only in this because I aspire to one day rule a harem of my own (full of men, of course). You are both welcomed to join, but only if you play nice.

Hi! My name is Chad. I'm here to apply for the position of "sex slave." I am eager, willing to please, and work for peanuts.

You may know me from such radio shows as BFN Networks on UICradio and Naughty Swedish Sex Hour on NPR. I'm also handy with a baster and know my way around the uterus.

Please consider me for any upcoming openings!

[JVH (f/k/a Bob Dubilina)]

We have ways of getting you waxed! Then you'll be nothing but a pitiful naked mole rat!

And remember: Just because they show doesn't mean they'll be satisfied. They may long for your safe, snuggley touch, but once they see how easily you get winded, you're fucked. Then what will you do? Take them for long walks on the beach? Buy them flowers? Write songs about your strong emotional bond? Lame, lame, lame!

Good luck, Stubs (your new nickname once I start removing digits),
BobbyDobbyD

P.S. I'd be careful making any threats regarding Truxton. Those girls love him more than you and I combined. If anything were to happen to him, we'd both be in for it. And Chad, too, just by association.

P.P.S. Chad, you touch my ladies and I'll feed you to Dave! Market your one-handed skills somewhere useful, like here: www.mannotincluded.com

[Chad Wilkens]

Bob said:

P.P.S. Chad, you touch my ladies and I'll feed you to Dave! Market your one-handed skills somewhere useful, like here: www.mannotincluded.com

So wait wait wait — now you're actively encouraging me to spread my seed? And anonymously, at that? Dude, two words: PANDORA'S BOX. Wait. That has a double meaning. Mmm... box...

Chadspawn running around not knowing that they're chadspawn? When the kinds want to know who papa is, the mother will wish she left those records closed...

[Still Bored At Work]

Although I hesitate to re-visit the fire I inadvertently kindled, I feel a certain responsibility to say something.

I have no fear of a life w/o milkshakes and penguin-hugs, of naked mole rats and nights under victory covers (is the punishment using the blanket or spending the night?). Nor do I fear Chad spawn or interactions with males w/o fingers…<br>
No, I stand by my original comments.

While I agree that none of the ladies want the penguin to “die,” Bob, I suggest you explore your own cute and cuddliness (perhaps get tips from Dave?). Remember, the anger will only eclipse your inner stuffed penguin. You catch more flies with honey, you know.

As much as it may make you sick, we (the ladies) know you have a little Truxton inside.

On a lighter note: Chad, I’d like to invite you to be a key member of my future harem. You sound sexy. (rowr)

P.S. Sexy Chad- I tried to register, but I'm still waiting for my password... Perhaps I accidently mistyped my e-mail address?

[JVH (f/k/a Bob Dubilina)]

Harem Girl #325LAC,

You're wrong about my anger eclipsing my inner stuffed penguin. My anger is reserved for those who would try to steal my "flies." Why do you think I'm so protective of my harem in the first place? I work so hard to make you feel special in your own way (after all, no milkshake is ever alike), and now some snuggley Casanova (or efficient Don Juan or exotic Big Red Machine) gets to casually stroll on in and enjoy the spoils? Ouch.

Either way, you had me until you invited Chad to join your harem. That was low. Now you give me no choice but to feed him to Dave. (Stubs, get out the mayo and BBQ sauce.)

Where's Truxton? I need a hug.

BobbyDobbyD

[Chad Wilkens]

Guest-Still said:

On a lighter note: Chad, I’d like to invite you to be a key member of my future harem. You sound sexy. (rowr)

Invitation accepted.

Look Ma — I'm in a Harem!
She's going to be so proud when she finds out... I can't wait until she sees this!

Guest-Still said:

P.S. Sexy Chad- I tried to register, but I'm still waiting for my password... Perhaps I accidently mistyped my e-mail address?

It's currently listed as Lillers79@(hereForSpamsSake-removeMe)AOL.com - I just reset it and sent you a temp password at that address... If that's the wrong one, just sign up again and I'll delete the farked account.

[Gwilym RhysJones]

The London Gazette
Publication Date: Wednesday, 22 December 2004
Notice Code: 2441

MANNOTINCLUDED.COM LIMITED

At an Extraordinary General Meeting of the Members of the above-named Company, duly convened, and held at the offices of UHY Hacker Young, St Alphage House, 2 Fore Street, London EC2Y 5DH, on 16 December 2004, the following Resolutions were duly passed, as an Extraordinary Resolution and as an Ordinary Resolution respectively:
“That it has been proved to the satisfaction of this Meeting that the Company cannot, by reason of its liabilities, continue its business, and that it is advisable to wind up the same, and accordingly that the Company be wound up voluntarily, and that Andrew Andronikou and Ladislav Hornan, be and they are hereby appointed Joint Liquidators for the purposes of such winding-up.”<br>At a subsequent Meeting of Creditors held on 16 December 2004 at 11.00 am at the same place, the Creditors confirmed the appointment of Andrew Andronikou and Ladislav Hornan as Joint Liquidators.

J E Gonzalez, Chairman

*******************************************


THE 2005 ROBERT MAXWELL AWARD FOR CORPORATE ACHIEVEMENT

JOHN EMILIO GONZALEZ

MANNOTINCLUDED.COM LIMITED
(IN VOLUNTARY LIQUIDATION)

Mannotincluded.com Ltd. was incorporated in May 2002 with capital of £100 and placed into Voluntary Liquidation by JOHN GONZALEZ in December 2004.
According to the Liquidators’ Estimated Statement of Affairs the total assets of the company amount to an unimpressive £5,000 and creditors are owed a grand total of £272,780.00 with little hope of any of the unsecured creditors receiving anything.

Trade & Expense creditors £220,558.08
Bank overdraft 19,000.00
PAYE/NI & VAT 14,000.00
Debtors Loan Account 19,222.00

John Gonzalez’ track record of unsurpassed excellence is exemplified by his involvement in one insolvent company, five dissolved companies and seven resigned directorships.

Cap’n Bob would be proud to know that his legacy lives on. It is appropriate that John Gonzalez’ business success is based on masturbating activities! How else can you sum him up?

Gwilym Rhys-Jones
Director General
Mannotincluded (Spain) Ltd.

Bob said:

P.P.S. Chad, you touch my ladies and I'll feed you to Dave! Market your one-handed skills somewhere useful, like here: www.mannotincluded.com

[Editor's Note: I only cleaned up my quote at the bottom. Gwilym didn't paste it correctly, so everything looked a little jumbled.]

[JVH (f/k/a Bob Dubilina)]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA![/B]

Now that is both classic and classy!

BobbyDobbyD

Correction(!): While I do appreciate being called Cap'n, I think you're confused about who's signing up for the program. I volunteered Chad, not me. My right to a "legacy" was forfeited after some obscure 13th century prophet predicted that -- and I quote -- ". . . the Hellspawn of this Tantric Monkey Boy . . . will bring great ruin upon all mankind. Save us from devastation by appeasing his Rage with women and potted meat. The bloodline MUST stop here!"

You may think I'm joking but I'm not. Ever since I was twelve, the Department of Defense has been sending me gift packages containing spank mags, SPAM and blunt arguments and/or threats regarding the danger of ME having kids. (They even went so far as to send me a boxful of dirty diapers. That alone convinced me to start incinerating my used napkins.) Talk about your tax dollars at work!

P.S. Hey I got a new slogan for Mr. Gonzalez's enterprise:
ManNotIncluded London: "We got plenty of the white stuff but none of the green."

[JVH (f/k/a Bob Dubilina)]

Sorry, kids, by Cap'n Bob, Gwilym meant Robert Maxwell, not me. Eh, doesn't really matter - everything I said before is still true.

BobbyDobbyD

Note: Don't know who Master & Commander Robert Maxwell is? Well, let's just say he was a mentor for all the boys at Enron and Adelphia. Read his profile here: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/1249739.stm.

[gwilym rhysjones]