Windy City Reprise (WCR 2007) Introduction

[JVH (f/k/a Bob Dubilina)]

Windy City Reprise:
The Best Songs of 2007

[/center]
It's strange where life will take you. I moved to Chicago in August of 1999 to attend my first and only semester of university before dropping out due to lack of finances. Afterwards, I found good work with the Clio Awards, cultivated several close friendships, landed my first girlfriend (oh boy!) and began pursuing my passions for storytelling and music via a little online radio program that could (um, you know . . . BFN Networks). Over the years I parted ways with old friends and discovered new ones; fell head over heels in love; experienced more than my fair share of drama; paid my debts; learned how to take full advantage of a corporate environment; traveled the globe; played the white knight, villain and fool; further carved my niche as a deviant; and, without fail, shared my stories with any and all who would listen.

Looking back on it, moving to Chicago in the summer of '99 was (and still is) the biggest life-changing decision I have ever made. However, although I learned over time to respect and (finally!) enjoy the Windy City and all the opportunities it afforded me, I have still yet to feel at home here. I've always referred to Chicago as an excellent base of operations – a place where you can make money, pursue your passions and more easily find others who share your interests. I have come to appreciate its location on the map (the crossroads of America!) and its layout (a big city that has excellent public transportation yet still gives plenty of consideration to car owners!) as well as its food, theater and music scene. But after nine years (on and off) here, I've still yet to feel any deep loyalty or intense longing for the place itself. When I go away on my long vacations, I miss my friends, my apartment (or, more accurately, the stuff in my apartment), singing along with Pat McCurdy every Monday night, the burgers from Daily Bar & Grill and the frozen homemade pierogi from the Krakus Deli on Addison & Laramie. I miss the familiarity of the place because I've lived here for so long, but I rarely miss the city itself.

That said, it is without a doubt that moving back to Chicago in the winter of 2007 is (so far) the best life-changing decision I've ever made. And it's simple: Because I did miss all the little things! I did miss the friends I left behind! But, more importantly, I missed the opportunities that I could find here because I already knew this city so intimately. After spending a summer in D.C. – a surprisingly small yet, thanks to its design, incredibly puzzling strip of land that I never really had the time or energy to fully explore – and then going on a five-month vacation that spanned six countries, two continents and a long stopover on memory lane in Guam, I didn't have the time or money to familiarize myself with a new city. My finances were dwindling every day I wasn't working, and it would have been a big gamble to put up the money for the first month's rent plus deposit on a new apartment without securing a job first. Thus, it made perfect sense to return to a city where I knew a room awaited me (my old roommate had pretty much kept everything the same as I had left it when I moved out and said that I was welcome back anytime!), work was relatively easy to find and BFN could start back up with minimal difficulties.

Best of all, this was a second chance to get it right in Chicago. Sure, the Midwest wasn't ever going to be home, but nowhere was home at this point, so why not go back to a place I was at least comfortable with, especially after being abroad for so long and now so close to broke? Yes, I made the choice to leave the city eight months before to take a chance on love, but I also made my exit because life had become stagnant. I had parted ways with my closest friends, the old job had lost its luster thanks to ridiculous office politics and I wasn't putting as much effort into my passions (both BFN and writing) because it felt like no one gave a shit. I needed change . . . and I had gotten that by going away, pursuing love, discovering a new city, exploring the world. Now I felt recharged, ready to come back and try something new. Worst case scenario, I could find a job, save every dollar, keep busy with BFN and then make my way to anywhere on the map I felt like going. For now, though, this was a great opportunity to start fresh and make more of an effort to truly appreciate Chicago and everything it had to offer.

And that's what I did. Thanks to my big return, I became even closer with old friends (and current BFN crew) Kyle, Maya and Mike. I learned how considerate and dependable Jason truly is, and time and again I've counted my lucky stars that we are roommates. I also had the good fortune to meet Megan and Jenn, two new (platonic) friends who have been incredibly supportive of my creative endeavors and also appreciate my perspective and respect my opinion. Best of all, Lisa and I were able to bury the hatchet and move forward with our friendship, and now I am proud to call her my best friend.

On the creative front I finally went independent with BFN. It was nice to come back to WUIC for a spell, but I quickly discovered that the privileges afforded to us before our departure were no longer applicable under new management. Seeing as we had essentially been an independent operation for the past four years and had stayed on with the station solely for convenience sake, I figured we had enough experience to make it official and go it alone. Once that happened I secured more high-profile band interviews than ever before. Also, thanks to his lightning-fast quips and hilarious off-the-cuff commentary, Kyle Ramos forced me to up my game to an entirely new level. It is without a doubt that his addition to the show as a full-time co-host breathed new life into BFN. Not only did his contribution make me more eager to share my stories with both him and our listeners, it also renewed my determination to soldier on with this silly yet splendid money pit of a radio show.

Of course, not all came up roses. I did part ways with Maeve for the second and final time in September (we got back together when she moved to Chicago in March 2007); however, once the break-up was final I found myself even more determined to get what I wanted from those I dated by being completely honest and upfront about my intentions and desires. As a result, my social calendar became completely booked and, better yet, I rarely went home alone. If that wasn't enough, there was also the promise of Africa made during a subzero Superbowl, an unsolved mystery involving my smashed and stolen car, a whirlwind trip to Germany, an awesome homemade Cheshire Cat costume, my first threesome(!) and a crazy and remarkable kindred spirit discovered lost and running in Phoenix sometime between arriving on Mike & Maya's doorstep in February and signing off on the last episode of the year in Kyle's apartment in December.

Overall, this Windy City Reprise was nothing less than a rousing success, and 2007 felt like the start of something wonderful . . . something right. I've said it a million times and I'll say it again: Chicago will likely never be home . . . but it's where I need to be (for now), and I look forward to seeing what happens next.

I fell in love again / All things go, all thing go,
Justin Holt
"Bob Dubilina"
BFN Networks
[e-mail]
June 23, 2008